i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
