I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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