mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
