the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
