Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
