I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
