Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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