I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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