Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we made out on top of his cat.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
