ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
