he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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