It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
