Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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