hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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