did you get engaged???
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
