I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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