Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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