How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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