Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
