His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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