HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
