Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
