She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
