That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
