I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
