if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
