If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
