Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
