they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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