everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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