Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
How's work?
Spinning.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
