Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
