Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm always down for nudity.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
