Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
