we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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