in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
