I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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