mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
