didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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