do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
