sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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