i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
