i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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