its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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