:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Come share oat with me in your robe
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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