I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
