if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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