Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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