I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
