is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
